Tuesday, 21 August 2012

Summertime Sadness

You know what my favourite thing to do during the summer is? Go to the cinema. (I don't really like holidays because they usually involve heat, other people, travel, and sharing a bedroom/bathroom with far too many other people for my liking). There are few things better than going and sitting in a dark, air-conditioned room for a few hours and forgetting that you don't have a job or any prospects in life. It's blissful.

Except this year, there is nothing on. Seriously. Not a damn thing. People go on about the big summer blockbusters, but what have we actually had this summer? The Dark Knight Rises doesn't count because it came out too early (ie before the UK got really, really hot). Let's take a look at the releases purely in August:

- Ted
- Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days
- Offender
- Step Up 4: Miami Heat
- Brave
- The Bourne Legacy
- The Expendables II
-The Wedding Video
- The Three Stooges
- Keith Lemon: The Film
- Shadow Dancer
- The Watch
- Total Recall
- A Few Best Men
- The Possession

(List taken from 'Time Out,' though I have removed any that I've either not heard anything about ever, or are not available to see at any of my local cinemas.)

Overlooking the fact that there are two different wedding movies, this really only leaves us with three films that could be called blockbusters: The Bourne Legacy, The Expendables II and Total Recall. Now, since Bourne wasn't very good, The Expendables is the freaking Expendables and Total Recall isn't being released until September (practically), that means there hasn't really been a big movie this month. Which is a problem for me. Because it's been hot. No amount of air-conditioning could make me sit through The Three Stooges or a film involving a wedding.

My biggest problem with this list, however, is Brave. I like Pixar films. I'd say I love them, but I either adore the films or really dislike them, so let's just say that overall I like their work. But it's the summer holidays, okay? I can't be in a cinema with small children. I struggle to be in a cinema with other adults (this is my problem not the cinema, I know) but nobody should be forced to watch a film with children unless those children are their own. For something like Brave, which I know for a fact appeals to adults as well as children (and recent university graduates), I can't understand why none of the cinemas in my area are doing Over-18s Only showings. Toy Story 3 got several screenings in this category. The cinemas are missing a trick and I'm going to have to get the damned DVD.

Any films you've wanted to see this summer but have been put off by the potential hordes of children? Any films you've flat-out wanted to see this summer? The pickings have indeed been slim in my opinion. Roll on September - Anna Karenina, Lawless and Looper. I can feel the air-con already.

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