So, I saw The Avengers last night. I refuse to call it by its offical title because its official title is stupid and I refuse to believe that anyone got confused between the Marvel film and the ancient TV series of the same name.
Basically, Loki (brother of Thor) has come to Earth from Asgard to retrieve a cube of unlimited energy called a 'tesseract' for his Evil Alien Overlords. Why they want it and why Loki's working for them is not made abundantly clear, but let's ignore that gaping hole in the film. However, we all know that this is a BAD thing and Nick Fury has to gather the Avengers - Iron Man, The Hulk, Hawkeye, Black Widow, Captain America and, ultimately, Thor. They have to work together to stop Loki from getting to cube, and then stop him from using it to destroy the world he's planning to rule.
I'm not really selling it, am I? It's okay. It's not a bad film. I'm not a comic book expert, I've never read one in my life, but I've seen all of the necessary movies except for Captain America. It's funny, the CGI is impressive (mostly) and there are worse ways to spend 2 hours and 15 minutes. But the story's weak. I still don't know why the Evil Alien Overlords wanted the magic energy cube, I still don't know why Loki wanted to help them, or why he suddenly seemed set on destroying the world he'd spent a bunch of time talking about ruling over.
Also, I get that they didn't want to alienate anyone who hadn't seen the entire recent superhero back-catalogue, but it was kind of boring to watch them go into detail about each and every character.
Then there are the costumes. When you have somebody like Chris Hemsworth (Thor) in your movie, why would you have him wear a shirt throughout? Seriously, why? Rookie costume designer mistake.
It's not a bad film, after all it was directed by Joss Whedon who is incapable of bad, frankly. I've seen worse, (Green Lantern), and I've seen better, (Batman Begins/The Dark Knight) but it's not the worst way to spend an evening. It's entertaining enough, it's just not as good as I thought it was going to be. And the story was weak, there's no escaping that.
Oh, and why is Cobie Smulders like the only character who doesn't at some point in the movie say "Suit up!" Missed a trick there.